I stared at it.
“I got it done the week after the funeral,” Charlie said. “The skin was still healing. That’s why I wouldn’t let you hug me. I didn’t want you to feel it through my shirt and have to explain it before I was ready, and then the longer I waited—”
“The harder it got,” I finished.
“Yeah.”
I looked at my son’s face, small and permanent, over my husband’s heart. And something happened in my chest that I hadn’t felt in weeks — something that wasn’t grief exactly, or relief exactly, but some third thing that lives between them.
I laughed.
Not a polite laugh. Not the kind you produce to make someone feel better. The kind that comes from somewhere below the ribcage and takes you by surprise — the first real, involuntary, whole-body laugh since before the lake, since before any of it.
