Logan’s handwriting became messier as it went.
Joanna,
I’ve started this letter nine times.
There isn’t a version where I can explain what I did and make it reasonable.
So I’m not going to try.
You told me we were having a baby, and instead of standing beside you, I panicked and left.
I have thought about that moment every day.
I wish I could tell you I left because I didn’t love you.
That would probably make more sense.
The truth is worse in a different way.
I left because I loved you, and suddenly I could see everything I might fail to be.
I heard my own father’s voice in my head. I remembered my mother waiting for him to come home. I remembered promising myself I would never make anyone feel abandoned.
Then I became frightened that I would.
And somehow, in one terrible night, I did the exact thing I feared most.
